I would go into that like a dug into a burst baw = In reply to:
What would you do with a good looking girl
I'll backhander you ya Muppet = I will hit you
I'll be back in 2 shakes of a badgers tadger = I'll be back in 2 minutes
I'll skelp yer erse = I'll spank your backside.
Mad wi the bongos.= Enjoying the consumption of temazepam.
Masimerseroan = Mother is the hot water (Immersion heater)on
Naw Am no = No I am not.
No danger man = No way
Oi a,ll rattle yer baws fur ye = I will kick you in the groin
Oot yer trolley = Very drunk
Sannie it.= Leg it, to run
See you , your pure mental ya cunt.= You're crazy
see you ma man, you are pure sound byraway = I think you are a good mate
Shoot yer load = To cum.
Shut it ya bam = To tell someone to shut up
South of the Border = Order
Spank the monkey = to masturbate
Square go ya dafty? = Would you care to have a fair fight?
Suck-ma-cock-it's-Blackpool-rock = A brag from a Glasgow rascal
That burd wis healthy chonkin.= she was a Really good date
aye That'll be right = I don't believe you
This hoose is a midden = This house is a so untidy
Watch oot erra polis = Watch out there's the police
Whit's the Hampden? What's the score? Hampden Roar = Score.
Wisnae me. Ask emdy It wasn't me . Ask anybody.I did not do it
Ye want a photograph ? = Why are you staring at me?
Ye ye want a go? = Do you want to fight me
Yer brefs barkin = Your breath smells bad
Yer Maw's athletic = Your mother is attractive
You're a pure scaff. = You're not very well dressed.
Your claimed = I am going to fight you
Yur Aff yur heid = Your Crazy
Yur oot yur face = Your Intoxicated
1.. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2.. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least
one other 'non-player' must be in the restroom at the time).
3.. Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.
4.. Phone someone in the office you barely know,
leave your name and say,
"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5.. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your
hands over your ears and grimace.
6.. When someone hands you a piece of paper, fingerit, and whisper
huskily, "Mmmmmm, that feels sooooooo good!"
7.. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone
points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8.. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9.. While riding in the elevator, gasp dramatically
every time the doors open.
1.. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot
him with double-barreled fingers.
2.. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask,
"Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3.. Page yourself over the intercom
(do not disguise your voice).
4.. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink
directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5.. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
2.. Walk into a very busy person's office and while
they watch you with growing frustration,
turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3.. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as
"Admiral".
4.. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you
"really have to go do a number two."
5.. After every sentence say "mon" in a really bad
Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon".
Keep this up for one hour.
6.. While an office mate is out, move their chair
into the elevator.
7.. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your
forehead repeatedly and mutter,
"Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8.. At lunchtime get down on your knees and
announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9.. In a colleague's diary write in: "10 am - See
how I look in tights".
10.. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and
ask "You wanna trade?"
11.. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to
the same person:
"Do you hear that? "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12.. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked
why say, "SORRY I can't Talk about it."
13.. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him
he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14.. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc.)
during a very important conference call.
15.. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16.. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from
the back of your pants
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17.. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and a biscuit,
smash each biscuit with your fist.
18.. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge
your chair towards the door.
19.. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent
each meeting attendee,Then move them according
to the movements of their real-life counterparts
Old Age (Well We'll All Be There One Day)
both Sides of the Sexual Divide
where are all these lessons coming from
Babygreen and some Other Old Friends
Don't blame me shoot the bloody Duck