* Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions.
Know this, and you will have come far in understanding them and
enriching your own life.

1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth,and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:

A. Present it to the Prime Minister.

B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.

C. Take it apart.

2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life
do you miss the most?

A. Innocence.

B. Idealism.

C. Fire crackers.

3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard For narrow-minded social conventions.

B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips).

C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business
reasons, you have to have him killed.

4. What about hugging another male?

A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal
disease.

B. If you're performing the Heimlich manoeuvre.

C. If you're a professional Footy player and a teammate
scores the Goal to win the World Cup, you may hug him provided that: You
also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.

5. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A. A cat.

B. A dog.

C. A dog that eats cats.

6. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's
attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One
leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy - you're
watching a rugby game; she's reading the papers - when she suddenly, out of
the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but
she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your
relationshipis going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married;
only whether You believe that you have some kind of future together. What
do you say?

A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a
future, but You don't want to rush it.

B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a
lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out
falsehope.

C. That you cannot believe the Wallabies lost to South Africa
two Weeks ago.

7. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and
you want to share with her all of the joys and sorrows that the world
has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after
dinner.

B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say
her name, And when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her
hair and the Stars her eyes, you tell her.

C. Tell her what?

8. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and
asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question
to her is:

A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"

B. "They're in school already?"

C. "There are three of them?"

9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation
for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for
forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

A. He was being tested.

B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when
they Finally got there.

C. He refused to ask for directions.

10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

A. Democracy.

B. Religion.

C. Remote control.