This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is
a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between
a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald
who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his
military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you
going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery,
and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't t?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised
on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous
activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're
not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
3. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up,
put it down – simple.
4. Do not cut your hair.Ever! Long hair is always more attractive
to us than short hair.One of the big reasons we fear getting
married is that married women always cut their hair,and by then
we are stuck with you.
5. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not perpetual quests
to see if we can find the perfect present yet again.
6. If you ask us a question to which you do not really want an answer,
expect an answer you do not want to hear.
7. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.
Live with it.
8. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the 4-4-2 formation,
politics, finance, formula one or monster trucks.
9. Saturday = Sports.It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
10. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
11. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you want to wear
is going to be fine. Really.
12. Blackmail is a serious criminal offence.
Crying is blackmail.
13. Your ex is an idiot.
14. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one.
Subtle hints do not work.Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work. Just say it..
15. No, we do not know what day it is.
We never will.
16. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
19. We are not mind readers and we never will be.Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
20. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
21. Check your oil and tyres.
PLEASE.
22. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
23. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls,
don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
24. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad and angry,
we meant the other one.
25. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
26. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
27. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done,
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
28. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during the commercials.
29. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
30. Women wearing Wonder bra’s and low-cut blouses lose their right
to complain about having their boobs stared at. More women should
wear Wonder bra’s and low-cut blouses.
We like staring at boobs.
31. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we were going out. Get over it! And quit whining to your girlfriends!
like their relationships are so MUCH better.
32. ALL men see in only 16 colours,like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
33. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
34. If it is OUR house,I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown
in the corner, attic, cellar or worse, the Dustbin?
35. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
I tell people who bother me. You see at 6' 5" 250lbs. I can
get people to listen to me even if the think they don't want to.
I use it at work a lot where they look down
on a fellow pounding the crap out of some wee little wank.
A bear and a rabbit were out in the woods on day taking a crap.
The bear says," Hey Mr. Rabbit does shit ever stick to your fur?
and the rabbit says " Why no Mr. Bear it doesn't."
So the bear wipes his ass with him.
Old Age (Well We'll All Be There One Day)
both Sides of the Sexual Divide
Babygreen and some Other Old Friends
Don't blame me shoot the bloody Duck