"Not very long," answered the Mexican.
"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
asked the American. The Mexican explained that his small
catch was enough to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your
time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take
a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village
to see my friends,have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing
a few songs...I have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and
I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then
sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue,
you can buy a bigger boat.
With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy
a second one and a third one and so on until you have an
entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to
a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing
plants and maybe even open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City,
Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct
your huge enterprise."
"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting,"
answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets
really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?"
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village
near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch
a few fish, take a siesta, and spend your evenings drinking
and enjoying your friends
(9).. Where did all those Ffucking indians come from.
General Custer 1877.
(8).. Any Fucking idiot can understand that.
Einstein 1938.
(7).. It does so Fucking look like her.
Picasso 1926.
(6).. How the Fuck did you work that out.
Pythagoras 126 B.C.
(5).. You want what on the Fucking ceiling.
Michaelangelo 1566.
(4).. where the Fuck am I.
Amelia Erheart 1937.
(3).. Scattered Fucking showers,My arse.
Noah 4314 B.C.
(2).. I need this parade like I need a Fucking hole in the head.
JFK 1963.
And now,drum roll!!!!!!!!!!!
(1).. No Fucking way,Bert Konterman!!!!!
Martin O,Niell 2002.
Actually No 1 is
(1).. Aw c,mon.Who the Fuck is going to find out!
Bill Clinton 1997
find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
easier than licking a dead fish.
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything
to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be
thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the
only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
need all the fluids you can get. Trust me.
7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
the short end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
9. Play with the balls.
10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning
now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee
it'll be "sound asleep."
13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on
your face, now will you?
week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food
and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in
Cincinnati.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested
the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread
maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to
sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the
lake."
My wife is on a new diet; coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost
weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now.
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...I
said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man
and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man
has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? Cause they want to.
He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a
drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it
might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised,
but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow
going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could
talk more privately.
We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I
tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or
something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.
So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply
and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant
because you know he didn't say it back or anything.
We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave
me.... So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the
television.
Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about ten
minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed
really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just
cried myself to sleep.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing
someone else.
Celtic lost.
Got laid though....
Old Age (Well We'll All Be There One Day)
both Sides of the Sexual Divide
where are all these lessons coming from
Babygreen and some Other Old Friends
Don't blame me shoot the bloody Duck