"Please come over here and help me... I have
a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks,
"What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box,
it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at
the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what
we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into
anything resembling a tiger."
He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's
have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all
these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don't get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8. I work in high temperatures.
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
Visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe the necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire well before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting the workplace carrying>BR>
two suspicious-looking bags.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole,
sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the
air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole
to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are
In the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell
is....
Get ready.....
Are you sure you're ready?
You may never forgive me for this one...
MOLASSES!
Old Age (Well We'll All Be There One Day)
both Sides of the Sexual Divide
where are all these lessons coming from
Babygreen and some Other Old Friends
Don't blame me shoot the bloody Duck