Q. What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A. Having two legs.
Q : What do you do after raping a deaf, dumb and blind girl?
A : Break her fingers so she can't tell her mum
Q: How many times does 59 go into 21?
A: I dunno...ask Woody Allen
Q: What do you say to a lesbian with no arms and no legs?
A: Nice tits. Bitch.
Q: What does a woman do when she gets out of the battered women's
shelter?
A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her.
Q: What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of one another?
A: A block of flaps.
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Cos every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
Did you hear about the Gay magician?
He vanished with a poof.
Q: What is the definition of Confidence?
A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her
on the ass and say, "You're next!"
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q: What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A: One says ribbit ribbit, the other one says rub-it rub-it!
Q. What's the definition of "trust"?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself!!
Q: How do you tell that you have a high sperm count
A: Your date has to chew before she swallows
Q: What is the speed limit for sex?
A: 68 - because if you go 69 you turn over
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "It might take me a while to get hard I just got laid last night
Q: How do you make a dog drink?
A: Put it in a liquidizer.
Q: What's got 500 legs and no pubic hair?
A: The front row at a Boyzone concert.
Q: What's got four legs and an arm?
A: A rottweiler.
Q: What's got two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog.
Q: What is the definition of disgusting?
A: Siamese twins joined by the mouth, and one throws up.
Old Age (Well We'll All Be There One Day)
both Sides of the Sexual Divide
where are all these lessons coming from
Babygreen and some Other Old Friends
Don't blame me shoot the bloody Duck